This last poem focuses on a speaker who is profoundly unhappy with himself and his environment. The descriptions make you want to crawl out of your own skin, just as the speaker evidently wishes to do. Materialism, apathy, madness...this one's a mine of juicy topics.
-Pablo Neruda
Walking Around
From: ‘Residencia en la tierra II’
It so happens I’m tired of being a man.
It
so happens I enter clothes shops and movie-houses,
withered,
impenetrable, like a swan made of felt
sailing
the water of ashes and origins.
The
smell of a hairdresser’s has me crying and wailing.
I
only want release from being stone or wool.
I
only want not to see gardens and businesses,
merchandise,
spectacles, lifts.
It
so happens I’m tired of my feet and toenails,
my
hair and my shadow.
It
so happens I’m tired of being a man.
Still
it would be a pleasure
to
scare a lawyer with a severed lily
or
deal death to a nun with a poke in the ear.
It
would be good
to
go through the streets with an emerald knife
and
shout out till I died of cold.
I
don’t want to go on being just a root in the shadows,
vacillating,
extended, shivering with dream,
down
in the damp bowels of earth,
absorbing
it, thinking it, eating it every day.
I
don’t want to be so much misfortune,
I
don’t want to go on as a root or a tomb,
a
subterranean tunnel, just a cellar of death,
frozen,
dying in pain.
This
is why, Monday, the day, is burning like petrol,
when
it sees me arrive with my prison features,
and
it screeches going by like a scorched tire
and
its footsteps tread hot with blood towards night.
And
it drives me to certain street corners, certain damp houses,
towards
hospitals where skeletons leap from the window,
to
certain cobbler’s shops stinking of vinegar,
to
alleyways awful as abysses.
There
are sulphur-coloured birds and repulsive intestines,
hanging
from doorways of houses I hate,
there
are lost dentures in coffee pots
there
are mirrors
that
ought to have cried out from horror and shame,
there
are umbrellas everywhere, poisons and navels.
I
pass by calmly, with eyes and shoes,
with
anger, oblivion,
pass
by, cross through offices, orthopaedic stores,
and
yards where clothes hang down from wires:
underpants,
towels, and shirts, that cry
slow
guilty tears.
-Pablo Neruda
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